Hey Mumma, Daddy! When you say “You’re really clever!” it makes me feel good, but there’s something even better you can say. When you say “You put in so much effort,” it helps me understand that trying and working hard are what truly matter
The Problem with Praising Innate Ability
When you tell me I’m clever or gifted, I might start thinking these things don’t change. Dr. Madhavi, a wise expert on how we learn, says that when kids believe their abilities are fixed, they might avoid challenging tasks because they fear failure. They might think struggling means they’re not smart, which can be really discouraging.
The Benefits of a Growth Mindset
You can say something like, "I see you worked really hard on balancing!" instead of "You're a superstar!" This helps me understand that my effort is what truly matters.
Here’s how you can help me develop this mindset:
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Praise the Process
Instead of saying, "You're a superstar!", try saying, "I see you worked really hard on balancing!" This shows me that my effort is what counts.
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Describe What You See
Instead of saying, "You're so good at coloring!", say, "I love how you’re using so many colors!" This focuses on my effort and creativity.
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Encourage Through Observations
When I do something like putting trash in the bin, instead of just saying "Good job," say, "Thank you! It feels so good to have help cleaning up." This makes me proud of helping.
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Use Neutral Words
Express your excitement with words like “Wow!” or “Look at that!” These words encourage me without making me think my abilities are fixed.
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Starting Early Matters
Even though I’m only 18 months old, praising my efforts now helps me build good habits early. This helps me become more resilient and enjoy learning and exploring.