Look Mumma, I’m Learning to Show My Feelings!
Hi Mumma, sometimes I might kick, bite, or hit when I’m upset. It’s part of learning how to express myself. With your help, I can learn better ways to share my feelings. Here’s why I might act this way and how you can help me:
Why I Might Kick, Bite, and Hit
Learning About Feelings
What It Means: I’m still figuring out how other people feel. I might not know that kicking or hitting can hurt others. I’m learning to understand emotions and how to talk about them.
Not Yet in Control
What It Means: My brain is still growing, so I might not always control my actions. This is part of learning to manage my feelings and actions.
Struggling to Talk About Big Feelings
What It Means: When I’m very angry or frustrated, I might not know how to use words. So, I might kick, bite, or hit instead.
Effective Responses to My Aggressive Behaviors
Be Loving, Firm, and Clear
What to Do: Just stop me. Pull my hand away and say, "It hurts to hit." "Don't hit."
Understand My Feelings
How to Respond: Tell me you that you know how upset I am, but also tell them that hitting is wrong. Say, "I know you’re upset, but we don’t hit."
Check on the Other Person
Modeling Care: Show me how to take care of other people. Show me that hitting hurts the other person instead of making me say sorry right away. Say, "Look, they’re sad because hitting hurts. Let’s help them feel better"
Calm Down the Situation
What to Do: If I hit, calmly remove me from the situation. If I hit you, create a safe space for both of us.
Stay Calm
What to Do: Don’t get angry. Stay calm so I can learn to be calm too.
Teach Me Later
What to Do: When we’re both calm, talk to me about what happened. Use simple words to explain why hitting isn’t okay and what I can do instead.
Why This Helps
Your help in understanding and handling my feelings helps me handle my feelings better. It teaches me that having feelings is fine, but hurting is not. This helps me deal with my anger better and understand how my acts impact other people. Because you helped me learn and grow.